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50 Creative Ways to Kill a Character

Updated: Aug 4, 2022

Warning! Do not try any of these at home. This list is for fun and fiction. I do not want to receive any calls from real law enforcement.

So, you want to write a Murder Mystery, but don’t know where to begin. I like to start with a murder weapon. Maybe I’m a tad bit dark, but that’s just how I roll. In my short story, The Gypsy Curse, my murderer used a watering can on the test dummy for the victim’s human cannonball act. The water changed the dummy’s weight, thereby throwing off the victim’s trajectory when he was shot out of the cannon. Lately, I’ve been putting together a blueprint for murder. The fictional variety, not the real thing, of course. I thought it would be fun to compile a list of creative methods for bringing about someone’s fictional demise. I’ve been having a lot of fun with this topic, asking friends and family for their input. My best friend was incredibly enthusiastic. She surprised me with all of her ideas at the ready. I guess it makes sense why she’s my best friend, although, I may have to keep an eye on that one. My oldest daughter has a dark side I didn’t know about, but I’m fairly confident she will never engage it for murderous purposes. Her methods were very technical and complicated and I told her she’d get caught for sure. My youngest has my dry wit and is quite the evil genius, where as her twin brother is too kind and soft hearted to conceive of anything so dastardly. I’d love to hear thoughts from my readers as well as any suggestions of your own. So, here it is.

My list of Murderous Means.

  1. Ice Knife (Leaves no weapon at the crime scene.)

  2. Frozen Leg of Lamb (Used once in a Roald Dahl story.)

  3. Typewriter (Steven King - Misery)

  4. Elephant

  5. Snake

  6. Bottle of Champagne

  7. Banjo (Actually used in a real murder.)

  8. Crucifix (Used in a real murder.)

  9. Pickle Jar (Also used in an actual crime.)

  10. Fire Extinguisher

  11. Nail Gun

  12. Bowling Ball

  13. Poison Dipped Corkscrew (Love that one.)

  14. Bullet made of bone

  15. Poison page tips (Lick your finger to turn the page at your own risk.)

  16. Prosthetic limb (Again, actually done, believe it or not.)

  17. Piece of Art

  18. Katana

  19. Chess Board

  20. Woman’s High Heeled Shoe

  21. Jump Rope

  22. Lid from a toilet tank (Pretty sure Jesse Einsenberg used that one in Zombieland.)

  23. Poisoned toothpaste

  24. Bacteria

  25. Poisoned toilet paper (Probably not ideal for a cozy.)

  26. Flaming Arrow fired into a canoe pretreated with lighter fluid.

  27. Garbage truck (They have those arms that pick the cans up now, you know.)

  28. Piano

  29. Newel Post

  30. Tamper with brakes on a library ladder

  31. Tamper with an electric blanket

  32. Necktie in the paper shredder / strangled

  33. Fireman / tamper with breathing apparatus

  34. Paper towel holder

  35. Rolling Pin

  36. Wrong blood used in a transfusion

  37. Down a power line

  38. Leaking AC unit

  39. Christmas Tree (Killer ornament)

  40. Remove important warning signs

  41. Poison in center of an ice cube

  42. Death by programmed robotic arm

  43. Cat claws dipped in poison (Bad kitty)

  44. Use someone’s allergies against them

  45. Boat propeller

  46. Flammable beard tonic for a smoker

  47. Cooked Newt (Tastes like chicken? Seriously, a guy ate a newt once on a dare and died. Apparently they are quite toxic.)

  48. Flower petals on a cake (There are all kinds of poisonous flowers.)

  49. Poison perfume

  50. Pressing / a medieval form of torture

Use this list to get the creativity flowing. I compiled this list from books, television, an internet search on stupid ways to die, friends, relatives, the fruit of my womb and my own devious mind. Let’s see what you can come up with.

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